If you read our formal introduction you know that I am legally disabled and yet I'm also a single stay at home mom. Even I think that sounds like an oxymoron, trust me.
I've always wanted to be a mom. I have a lot of interests but my passion has always been children. I didn't want to grow up to be an astronaut or a princess. I wanted to be a mom, I wanted to raise children, to be the main source of love in another persons life. Sounds a little co-dependent, and it probably is, but that was my dream.
What I never intended on was being a single mom. I strongly believe in the family unit. But more importantly I believe in a healthy loving environment for my children. And that is my number one priority, it will not be sacrificed. So suffice it to say, if your not already reading between the lines, that there are certain relationships are healthier when they are not romantic, and there are certain people who quite simply don't know what they're missing out on. But I digress.
When I had Kelly I was renting a small trailer. Being on disability means I have a very small and very limited income, and child support doesn't exactly have me rolling in the dough. For the time being that was enough space for myself and an inactive small child. But K was learning how to walk, and I was pregnant with Sadie, so something had to change.
I knew I was going to be a single mom to two and I had a choice to make, I could go out and try to find some work that would cancel out my disability and cost it's entire worth to keep the girls in day care, or I could let my inner hippie out.
Today our household does a lot of green things not only because they're more cost effective, but because they're better for the environment. Like cut out paper goods, we use rags instead of paper towels, and actual plates and silverware! We buy secondhand. We make our own cleaning products. Hell, Kelly still even showers with me sometimes. Granted there is a lot more I want to do, but just doesn't make sense for our living situation at the moment (like cloth diapering).
My point is I hear a lot of women talk about not being able to afford to stay at home, but still get their nails done, tote a iPhone and DVR their fav HBO shows. A part of me thinks that this level of involvement in their children's lives isn't really as much of a priority for some women. But a bigger part thinks that maybe no ones pointed out how much you can save by cutting out luxuries.
Several SAHMs I've talked to tell me how being a stay at home parent is like a job for them. They take care of the children not just meeting their physical needs but their educational ones too (my favorite aspect of being a SAHM), they keep the house clean (my least favorite), they manage the household needs. [Quick PSA: There is a difference between managing and addressing needs. Managing is knowing when and where the best sale on the 24 pack of TP that will last you 3.5 months is. Addressing is buying the TP.] And they keep their families happy not in spite of, but because they go with out things like TV or fancy phones, they make things like growing their own food fun and educational not a financial necessity.
My personal experience turned tangent point is, there is a sense of pride in providing for your family even if it isn't in a financial sense. I felt shame for a while to admit that I don't work, despite not being able to! That is ludicrous. I'm blessed to have the opportunity to stay home and teach my children, connect with them, and manage our household in a fashion that allows us to live like hippie kings rather then hipster paupers.
Tell me, what's one thing your household does that makes it possible to better connect and still be financially fit?
No comments:
Post a Comment