Sweet Sadie's 1 Month Updat

 

Sweet Sadie May, today you are one whole month old. 30 Days have gone by since we first met, I can't say you were happy to see me, I suppose it was more being torn from your warm, safe and easy environment.... But I was happy to see you. Terrified, but so happy. 

I was so scared that day in the hospital, for what was about to become of our little family. I was worried your sister would resent you, and hate me. But we know now nothing could be further from the truth. In fact when I walked in to your sisters room this morning I was greeted with an indifferent "Hi" until she saw you in my arms, then the squeals of glee began.

I've loved you from the very get go, sweet girl. We've only been a part a handful of times and each time it breaks my heart. I know your safe when you're with your sister though. She has an uncanny ability to soothe you, which makes me think you love her just as much as she loves you. Or maybe you're just curious as to what that strange loud creature is. You are a very curious young lady, and a very expressive one (especially verbally). And so smart and determined. Today you rolled over for the first time! You've been lifting your head since the day you were born, and throwing your body around with such force and determination that I almost feel like I'm keeping you from something. You're going places sweet girl, literally and figuratively. 

But the very best thing you've shared with us thus far is your smile. You're a beautiful child and your smile lights up a room, and my heart. I'm so blessed to have you, as difficult as our time together so far has been. You make our family complete, and I don't know how we ever survived with out you.

Stats:

Weight: 8 lbs 6 oz

Height: 21.5 inches

Diaper Size: 1

Clothing Size: 0-3 Months

Eyes: Still Blue!
Hair: Turning Auburn!

2'fer Tuesday

2'fer Tuesday Survey


1. Ages? 
K: 19 Months
S: 3 Weeks

2. What's went on this last week?
  S is jaundiced no more! She had her first go of tummy time, and her first bath as well!! K made a new friend, who happens to be half her age and apparently worthy of kisses (little cougar!). And Mama got weighed- twice. Explain to me how I gained 2 lbs in 4 days?!
  S was also diagnosed with Reflux issues. Mama spent a fortune on some fancy bottles, and they seem to be helping, because S is almost back to birth weight and is eating and sleeping almost fuss free now!


3. What are the challenges we dealt with (or continue to deal with)?
  Well, I got some bad news this week. Maybe not bad, but... uncomfortable? Unhappy? Whatever, that's another blog post. Point is it's kicked my PPD into over drive, but thankfully I was put back on anti-depressants as of today. My back issue was also addressed today- now I'm supposed to attend physical therapy twice a week. How I'm supposed to do that with two under two, I really have no freaking idea, but I'll figure it out somehow I guess! If it isn't helping within the month I'll be going to a spine specialist and pain management doctor.
  On just the mommy-hood front, I'm happy to report further success, I'm making meals again, cleaning the house again, K even gets bed time stories pretty consistently. Granted not all of those things ever happen in the same day, but typically 2 out of 3, which is still progress!

4. Any milestones reached this last week?
K: New words are Mouth and Boots, she's also now pointing out a lot more body parts, I'll be sure to include that on her 19 month update tomorrow!!
S: First Bath! First 4 oz bottle too, big girl!

5. How are you feeling about having 2 at this point?
  Excited, I feel like I'm running a marathon and I've just set a good pace. Make sense?

6. Any Mommy Epiphanies?
   Breathe!!!

2'fer Tuesday

2'fer Tuesday Survey


1. Ages? 
K: 18 Months, 3 Weeks
S: 1 Week

2. What's went on this last week?
  Well we had a baby, brought her home, and began adjusting our little lives to make room for this new little person!


3. What are the challenges we dealt with (or continue to deal with)?
  K loves her "issy" and adores having her around. No struggle there. S is to tiny to know what a struggle is... her biggest issue is being jaundiced, and not waking up early enough to still maintain the patience to latch when she's hungry. So despite finally having a child who can latch, I am still spending time at the pump. I'm hoping in the next week her jaundice will clear up and she'll be able to go back to the source, because I can't physically or mentally afford to continue pumping. If at this time next week she isn't a boob girl again, we're goin' to formula with no shame about it.
  So mostly Mama seems to be the only one struggling. I was not prepared to jump in to raising two under two so quickly. Some how I had envisioned a bit more of an easing in process. But thus far everyone has managed to stay mostly clean, and mostly fed, and mostly well rested. I'm even starting to be able to get some chores done again. Though I'm sure once I get my feet under me some thing will change or someone will go through a growth spurt and things will change, requiring us (well me) to adjust again!


4. Any milestones reached this last week?
K: New words are Belly Button and Meow, and a few names too. She's also now saying words in a more conversational way, rather than as a question or echo.
S: Latched! And starting to spend more time alert.

5. How are you feeling about having 2 at this point?
  I haven't really had time to assess my feelings.
  I love S, but I already miss all the quality time K and I used to have. Tonight we managed to have bath time and actually read a bed time story while S was snoozing, so I know thing are just going to get better as we all adapt, and I'll be able to get more of that quality time back.

6. Any Mommy Epiphanies?
   Time changes everything! And if I use it wisely, than I really can be super mom.

Wordless Wednesday

The Last Bumpdate 38 Weeks, 3 Days

• Size of baby: 8+ lbs.
• Symptoms: Pain. Some contractions. Frightening levels of Amniotic fluid
• Fetal Movement: I can watch my stomach move as she practices her breathing.
• Sleep: Restless,
• Cravings: Burger King
• Best Scariest Moment this Week: Explaining to K what's going to be happening the next couple of days....
• What I Look Forward To: Tomorrow.

This is my last bumpdate ladies and imaginary gentleman (like men read anything, let alone this, pff). I have an induction scheduled for tonight at 8PM PST. I am not going to be having my natural, labor at home, go to the hospital 5 minutes away birth. I will be driving to a much bigger hospital an hour away for my second induction.

Today I had my bi-weekly NST, my weekly AFI and my weekly check in with the doctor. The non-stress test went great! S was back to her active ways. AFI (where they measure amniotic fluid) was not okay. My numbers are up even further, to the 30 range. So the doctor scheduled me for an induction tonight. Yeah. Totally not freaking out or anything- don't worry.

That's total BS. I'm flipping my lid every five seconds. I do not want another induction. I do not like risking a C-Section, and I am not ready to be a mommy of two.

But I'm not the dealer at this card table, I just play the hand that's dealt. So right now roughly 3 hours before I leave for my induction, I'm about to quadruple check my bags, clean my house and try to remember to breathe. I have a post scheduled for later this week, and will hopefully have a new baby to show off come wordless wednesday (and the time and energy to post it). Please keep my little family and our quickly approaching transition in your prayers!!

Bumpdate: 38 Weeks

• Size of baby: Well above 7lbs, if I had to guess, I'd say 36. Yes. 36 lbs.
• Symptoms: Pain. Some contractions, pain.
• Fetal Movement: She's a monster. I don't know how she has enough room in there for all these acrobatics. I'm literally getting bruises on my belly from her kung-fu alone!*
• Sleep: I sleep like the dead until 3 am every day. Then I wake up to pee, and its a crap shoot on whether or not I'm able to get back to sleep, because I've been randomly going in and out of labor!
• Cravings: Uhm food? Mac and cheese. Chips. Pepsi
• Best Moment this Week: Walking, I've done a lot of walking and despite the harsh pain- I'm really excited that I'm still able to cross such distances in my current ginormous conditions.
• What I Look Forward To: Birth.

*I wrote this the night before I hit 38 weeks (cheating I know!), and Thursday morning things were actually a bit different.

I woke up at 1 AM that morning having horrible contractions- I call them "f***balls" contractions, because that's the only words I'm capable of saying during them. Because of previous fluid issues I now have to go to the office twice a week for Non-Stress Tests, the first of which was scheduled that morning. And because of previous rounds of false labor, I decided that until I had sprung a leak, or couldn't talk, it probably wasn't worth a trip to L&D where they'd do the same thing (NST, cervix check) with a lot less grace. So I held out.

My appointment was at 11 and in those 10 hours I didn't feel S move once, but as soon as I mentioned it she of course woke up. She was lazy by her own standards, but active enough for the staff, the contractions were concerning so they did another cervix check (you all are getting to know me intimately), and I was still dilated at a 1, but now about 75% effaced. I was congratulated on being in early labor and sent on my way. La-de-dah.

Long story short the contractions continued all freaking day. They actually went on until about 5 AM the next morning. But as they didn't get any worse, and my water hadn't broken, I never bothered with a trip to L&D. Then they just stopped. No more. The end. Nothing I had done had any impact on progressing the labor or restarting it. Another false alarm.

My next appointment will be Monday, with another NST, and probably an ultrasound, and maybe even another cervical check. Hooray for free-fingerings and all but seriously- this false labor routine is getting old, and is really wearing me out physically and emotionally where I feel like my ability to care for K is suffering. Wish us luck on vacating my uterus in a timely, comfortable and above all safe fashion!

Bumpdate: 37 Weeks

Please ignore my messy house and horrible stretchmarks!

• Size of baby: 8 lbs according to the ultrasound, give or take a 1/2 lb.
• Symptoms: Contractions, more stretch marks, full blown non-dilating labor :/
• Fetal Movement: She's typically pretty still, being as smooshed a she is.
• Sleep: If I stop nesting long enough to sleep, then I'm out like a light.
• Cravings: Carbs!
• Best Moment this Week: Ultrasound. Finally getting all the baby clothes washed, sorted and stored appropriately!
• What I Look Forward To: Not being in on-again-off-again labor anymore. Please, I'm so tired!!

This week I had to have another ultrasound because I was measuring small again. S is fine, as both the doc and I expected, actually she's a little big! Also I have excess fluid again, actually really excess this time. But the concern last time was it causing preterm labor, and now that I'm term, that's not a realistic issue! However now it means there's an increased risk of cord prolapse, or S turning breech at the last minute. Everyone seems to agree though that based on S's behavior thus far, it isn't a big concern, she seems pretty content in her head down, super low position. Final concern this week was my blood pressure. With K I was induced because of my blood pressure. Doc says it isn't as much of a concern yet. But we'll be keeping an eye on it.

That being said I've had some boogers recently from down under, and a small show. So really, any day now. I thought today was the day actually, but despite every other factor of labor being in play, my cervix refuses to dilate. I guess it still has 3 weeks to cooperate and clean up it's act though!

Bumpdate: 36 Weeks

• Size of baby: Almost 6 lbs! Sheesh!
• Symptoms: Sciatica! Horrible Sciatica, but the contractions are pretty much gone. Only other issue is my entire belly is so tender. Oh and new stretchmarks... obviously not happy about that.
• Fetal Movement: Her movement has slowed down and become more deliberate again. I think one of us is going through a growing phase resulting in her not having enough room for theatrics.
• Sleep: I either sleep fantastically, or the sciatic pain keeps me up all night.
• Cravings: Fast food. Spicy things. Oriental.  
• Best Moment this Week: Baby Shower of course :) Receiving the car seat, setting up the crib finally. Sorting and hanging, and sorting and rehanging, and folding and storing, and washing... and washing... and washing all those baby clothes. Not in that order of course. Of course lots of stockpiling type shopping- I shouldn't need to leave my house for a few weeks after S is here for anything more than appointments. And finally getting to this point! Now that I am 36 weeks there is no reason for my local hospital to send me south again, and they won't try to stop labor at this point either.
• What I Look Forward To: Getting this kid OUT. I know that's really insensitive, but what I mean is I look forward to the combined excitement of having a newborn, expanding my family and meeting another person I get to spend the rest of my life with. And the relief of being able to touch my toes. Or even see them. I think I have a hang nail. Really, there's several things below the belt that need to be addressed. 

Bumpdate: 35 Weeks

• Size of baby: About 19+ inches and about 5.5 lbs. About the size of a honeydew melon. 
• Symptoms: Back pain. Sciatica. Contractions everywhere, even in my thighs! You know, the usual!
• Fetal Movement: Watching her move is like watching a large ping pong ball on crack, I don't know how she's in so many places at once!
• Sleep: I'm getting better sleep than the dead, and logs. And dead logs. That are being sawed. Get the point?
• Cravings: Still eating less, cravings are fleeting. Nausea is to blame I think, and the migraines.
• Best Moment this Week: False labor- not the labor it's self but the reminder to appreciate the moment I'm currently in.
• What I Look Forward To: The relief of not having to worry about when she gets here. That is totally a valid concern now! What I am looking forward to though is the baby shower this weekend, finishing up the crib skirt (a tutu) and all the laundry, and above all purchasing the car seat!!!

No picture yet. I will try to update with one tomorrow. I've been having horrible contractions today and have done as much as possible to keep my butt horizontal and hydrated.

Oh that? Just a Little Pre-Term Labor...

While everyone was kicking back brewskis and standing around the grill this weekend, I was having a fun round of very serious looking preterm labor. I hope you noted the sarcasm there, or at least have enough experience with labor to know how very not fun it is. But I digress....

I had gone in to the hospital for some horrible pains (somewhat reminiscent of labor, hence the concern) in my thighs, groin, lower abdomen and back. At that point I was contracting every 3-4 minutes. For a few hours my local hospital tried to stop the labor through various medications. Not only were they unsuccessful, but managed to risk my life after insisting I take another dose of a muscle relaxant as my blood pressure bottomed out. I'd really like to take a moment to vent on my local hospital's level of care, but that's only slightly less interesting then this!

Anyways, they finally decided to transfer me to a bigger hospital about an hour away. That hospital decided it would be in every one's best interest if I wasn't dead (I agreed), and so they let the labor progress, at that point I was contracting every 2-3 minutes, and beginning to dilate. I was given a low dose of pain killers, and decided to sleep for a bit, because from what I remember, birthing babies is no easy thing. I woke a few hours later to find that the contractions had stopped. Ceased. Disappeared. No more. They ran some tests, poked around under the hood, and then just sent me on my merry way.

Basically S decided that she wasn't as ready as she thought, and plans on giving it at least a few more days. Until then, I'm on as much bed rest as is morally allowed for a mother of one little trouble seeking toddler.

Spur-of-the-Moment Photo Shoot

"Trouble?" You say, "Such a cute little angelic face can cause trouble?" Yes. Trouble. She took it upon herself, in my absence to fight the coffee table at Grandpa's house (though to be fair it's been shooting her dirty looks, a real oak instigator, that one). I  think she was looking for a way to get to the hospital, to see her Mama. When it was time for me to go home, she arrived with her grandpa and jumped into my arms, then rested her little head on my shoulder and sighed. I just barely caught sight of the bloody band aid on her forehead, but when I took a better look I was practically off and running (okay high speed waddling) toward the ER again. Luckily, some very sweet L&D nurses talked me down, and helped me clean her up, just in time for me to properly harass my father on why the poor child wasn't wearing pants (she had an accident). I swear, the world falls apart with out me.

On a serious note though, this weekend's event made me truly realize that my little girl won't be the little one much longer. And it kills me to know that. It kills me to know that soon I won't be her absolute everything, and soon we'll have to share each other with someone else.

But then I realize, soon we get to have something else to share with each other. Soon I'll be showing K how a newborn's nose can scrunch into the cutest little ridges, and sharing the joy of those first gazes, giggles and grins. And soon I'll be introducing S to her amazing big sister, the person I breathe for, the first face I have to see for the day to even matter.

Above all, soon all the joy and the bliss and the happiness that is my life will double. Along with it will come twice as much stress, and fear of course, but it's a small shadow in the high noon that is my life right now.

P.S.  Now I have to repack my hospital bag! Really debating packing two... one for false labor, one for real labor, but seeing as my crystal ball is in the shop, I probably won't know the difference and should just keep it down to one. My OCD is disappointed.

Bumpdate: 34 Weeks

• Size of baby: About 18.5 inches and about 4.75 lbs. About the size of a pineapple. 
• Symptoms: Back pain, and Sciatica, random throwing up in my mouth. Pain! Pain! Pain! And contractions!!
• Fetal Movement: Well, despite not having enough room, she's been very active. Her new favorite move is burrowing....
• Sleep: It is almost impossible to get to sleep at night, then I just can't get enough. But I've stopped waking up 30+ times a night, now usually once or twice.
• Cravings: I've actually found myself eating less. I really wanted sweet and sour chicken from the new Thai place down the street, but barely ate any of it. I did gorge on some popcorn shrimp from red lobster this week too. Typically something sounds good, but the idea is fleeting.
• Best Moment this Week: I had an ultrasound this week! Because of all the fluid (see below for full update) the picture was a lot clearer, and I was able to watch S suck on her fingers, yawn and rub her face. It was probably as close as I've ever gotten to crying during an ultrasound!
• What I Look Forward To: The relief of not having to worry about when she gets here.  Still applies.

General Baby Update:

Last week at my ultrasound appointment the doctor mentioned that I was measuring small. I wasn't to concerned because the same thing happened with K, and I was feeling so incredibly cramped that there was no doubt S was measuring fine. And this week that was confirmed, S is right on point, and sitting very low, ready to go as soon as the gates open, if you will. The reason I'm feeling so cramped however is an excess of amniotic fluids. I'm right on the cusp of the "uh-oh" zone, and when you reach the uh-oh zone there's a chance of Preterm Labor (PTL). As I have a history of PTL this is a little concerning, but not enough to rush to see the doctor. 

I go in Monday to discuss this and my pain management issues with him. I've been struggling with horrible back pain for most of my pregnancy, the doctor has recommended a support belt and seeing a chiropractor which really helped up until recently.

About two weeks ago I went to the Labor and Delivery department of the local hospital for a non-stress test, as it was noon and S was refusing to move. They woke the little spitfire right up and all was well, but in her jubilation she managed to thoroughly upset my back, as had been happening more and more recently. The nurses were concerned about the stress of me being in so much pain, and how it would effect S, so they sent me immediately to the ER for pain management. There they prescribed me a big needle in my hip full of some heady concoction, and a prescription for an oral version of the stuff. I am not fond of narcotics, but as I've been struggling to get daily tasks done as is, and at the end of my rope emotionally because of it, I figured it should be considered. At my last appointment I discussed the risks with the OB and basically it boiled down to this: I have to do what I have to do to get buy and take care of K too. So I'm taking it as easy as is realistically possible, while also taking very limited doses of a heady narcotic. 

As the back issue isn't directly baby related (it's a previous injury that's being aggravated by S's growth and movement) I had to follow up with a primary care doctor today. She looked over my history, heard out my current symptoms then took a look first at my back then at my belly and declared she'd give me a two week refill because apparently I'm going to go into labor any day now by the looks of things. My OB has consistently been of the opinion that I won't make it much more then 37 weeks. 

With K I went in for an induction at 39 due to high blood pressure. But the only reason I made it to 39 weeks was because I was on bed rest for 30 weeks and I was taking preventative medications. Obviously this time bed rest really isn't an option with K terrorizing the place, and I've very stubbornly refused the medications as it made me absolutely psychotic last time. My blood pressure has been moving up this pregnancy at a pretty consistent pace, and should be reaching the point of concern at 37 weeks, but ironically the narcotic has a side effect of lowering blood pressure. 

Taking all these factors in to account I'd say we have about 2.5 weeks left! Unfortunately I made a promise to myself last night that I would not go into freak out mode until the 1st.... So... if anyone asks I'm not freaking out.

Bumpdate: 33 Weeks

• Size of baby: About 18 inches and about 4.3 lbs. About the size of a pineapple. 
• Symptoms: Back pain, and Sciatica! Breathlessness, and insane thirst.
• Fetal Movement: Still generally limited, She must just not have enough room any more.
• Sleep: Sleeping great, once I actually go to sleep that is! My brain is chattering away with all the things I have to do before S gets here!
• Cravings: Nothing to special this week.
• Best Moment this Week: Spending time with my brother, watching him interact with K.
• What I Look Forward To: The relief of not having to worry about when she gets here.

Bumpdate: 32 Weeks

• Size of baby: About 17 inches and about 4 lbs. About the size of a jicama. 
• Symptoms: Back pain, and Sciatica! Breathlessness, heartburn, peeing more and finding it harder to get up off the floor now. 
• Fetal Movement: Limited today, I think she's growing again, or she's really run out of space. Today I didn't feel her move until almost 2 pm. I went into L&D for a non stress test, and they finally managed to wake her up. When she did wake up she went straight to her MO: painful jabs. I've never related pain to my children moving inside me before, but this kid is killing me! I've also never had such an active baby! I'm scared....
• Sleep: If I could get to bed at a decent enough hour, and K1 would let me sleep in by an extra 30 minutes it would be great.
• Cravings: Spaghetti noodles tossed in olive oil, some parm and some creole seasoning. Sourdough bread. Water. And of course still needing those weekly Dr. Pepper Slurpies and occasional tins of Wintergreen Altoids.
• Best Moment this Week: Mother's day gift shopping. I know it sounds a little vain, possibly tacky, but I'm so happy to have my new 10 dollar throw pillows on the couch. Plus it was nice to be up and about, moving around, and dealing with the clingy K1 (she's going through an attachment phase).
• What I Look Forward To: The baby shower, finally getting my hands on my new diaperbag, and meeting K2 of course!

Oh Baby To Do's: This weekend I started washing K2's clothes in the baby detergent. I also got a few blankets and the ring sling in there as well, After the baby shower I'll do some more laundering and will include the bouncer lining. I also have to clean the car seat, boppy and swing at that time,

I also need to clean and polish the crib, pack a hospital bag, and clean the room up.

In other news... K1 will be 17 months this week, come Friday. Keep an eye out for the update!