Bumpdate: 38 Weeks

• Size of baby: Well above 7lbs, if I had to guess, I'd say 36. Yes. 36 lbs.
• Symptoms: Pain. Some contractions, pain.
• Fetal Movement: She's a monster. I don't know how she has enough room in there for all these acrobatics. I'm literally getting bruises on my belly from her kung-fu alone!*
• Sleep: I sleep like the dead until 3 am every day. Then I wake up to pee, and its a crap shoot on whether or not I'm able to get back to sleep, because I've been randomly going in and out of labor!
• Cravings: Uhm food? Mac and cheese. Chips. Pepsi
• Best Moment this Week: Walking, I've done a lot of walking and despite the harsh pain- I'm really excited that I'm still able to cross such distances in my current ginormous conditions.
• What I Look Forward To: Birth.

*I wrote this the night before I hit 38 weeks (cheating I know!), and Thursday morning things were actually a bit different.

I woke up at 1 AM that morning having horrible contractions- I call them "f***balls" contractions, because that's the only words I'm capable of saying during them. Because of previous fluid issues I now have to go to the office twice a week for Non-Stress Tests, the first of which was scheduled that morning. And because of previous rounds of false labor, I decided that until I had sprung a leak, or couldn't talk, it probably wasn't worth a trip to L&D where they'd do the same thing (NST, cervix check) with a lot less grace. So I held out.

My appointment was at 11 and in those 10 hours I didn't feel S move once, but as soon as I mentioned it she of course woke up. She was lazy by her own standards, but active enough for the staff, the contractions were concerning so they did another cervix check (you all are getting to know me intimately), and I was still dilated at a 1, but now about 75% effaced. I was congratulated on being in early labor and sent on my way. La-de-dah.

Long story short the contractions continued all freaking day. They actually went on until about 5 AM the next morning. But as they didn't get any worse, and my water hadn't broken, I never bothered with a trip to L&D. Then they just stopped. No more. The end. Nothing I had done had any impact on progressing the labor or restarting it. Another false alarm.

My next appointment will be Monday, with another NST, and probably an ultrasound, and maybe even another cervical check. Hooray for free-fingerings and all but seriously- this false labor routine is getting old, and is really wearing me out physically and emotionally where I feel like my ability to care for K is suffering. Wish us luck on vacating my uterus in a timely, comfortable and above all safe fashion!