Wordless Wednesday

2'fer Tuesday

2'fer Tuesday Survey


1. Ages? 
Kelly: 19 Months, 2 Weeks
Sadie: 1 Month, 1 Week

2. What's went on this last week?
  We had 3 play dates for the girls. A McDonald's rendevous where Kelly (and then Mama) discovered they could get into the play deathtrap jungle gym thing. Then there was a farmers market/bouncy house/petting zoo afternoon, which Kelly adored and Sadie slept through. And finally there was a medieval reenactment at our library, that Kelly's grandpa was participating in. When he was "slain" on the battle field Kelly was distraught, and tried to run on to the field yelling "GAMPA JOE!!" It was ridiculously cute, and dangerous, just her style.
  On the development front Kelly has learned how to open doors, while Sadie is giving out real smiles now. Between the two of them I have a very happy, frazzled heart.
  We did have a quick ER visit this week, Sadie was inconsolable for two hours straight. Diagnosis: Gas. Lord have mercy!

 3. What are the challenges we dealt with (or continue to deal with)?
  Another double doctors appointment! Although this one was not so well planned. The girls were unknowingly (on my part) exposed to chicken pox. So there was a mad dash to the doctor to make sure neither of my sweet babies were at risk. Kelly's been vaccinated, and Sadie should still have my immunity. Cross your fingers folks, because if my sweet girls get sick because of another person's irresponsibility... Well, unless my cell has internet access this blog may take a dive for the next 25 to life.
  We did discover Sweet Sadie has a milk intolerance though. I've suspected it from the get go, and when the Zantac stopped working last Wednesday (puking up full bottles) I switched her to soy with out even bothering with a doctor's visit. Since then spit up has decreased, she's pooping again, fussing less, her bleeding diaper rash has cleared, the wheezing has stopped... When I mentioned all this to the doctor at our surprise visit yesterday she agreed, certainly sounds like a milk intolerance. So mom points for me. And despite all the pooping (4-8 poopy diapers a day!) Sadie is still gaining like a champ! Also Kelly's blood work came back- she's fine! We're going to try cutting back on milk with her and hope it clears up.
  We met with the developmental specialist again, and Kelly was finally able to be assessed. Assessment? She's functioning at a level that is 6 months to a year above her age. As far as what I can do? Nothing really more then be patient, I'm already doing all I can. Eventually the tantrums and envelop pushing will stop.
4. Any milestones reached this last week?
K: Opening doors, and now saying and pointing to teeth.
S: Smiles, curiosity in people.

5. How are you feeling about having 2 at this point?
  I'm still the luckiest, most frazzled woman alive.

6. Any Mommy Epiphanies?
   I think I may need to keep a candy stash in the bathroom. While I'm hiding in there less often, it still happens at least once a week. It'd be nice not to have to stop by the pantry as I sprint towards my time out corner. Epiphany: It is okay to take 10 minutes and a strawberry shortcake snack to collect yourself if need be!

2'fer Tuesday

2'fer Tuesday Survey


1. Ages? 
Kelly: 19 Months, 1 week
Sadie: 4 Weeks!!!

2. What's went on this last week?
  Well we had a double doctors appointment for the girls- and everyone managed to live through it. Sadie is above birth weight now, she's been gaining 3 times what a normal newborn does daily!! The doctor looked suspicious of the reflux thing, but when I told her how many ounces I have to make per feeding, combined with how much of it Sadie spits up, she started to believe me. Then she had the opportunity to see Sadie eat, and after noting how long it takes her to eat, how much she spits up and how she spits it up, she prescribed my sweet girl Zantac. It's been less than a week, but we're already seeing a remarkable difference.
   Kelly on the other hand... well her part of the visit was even less delightful. We were (finally) following up on her anemia issue that was diagnosed at her 1 year check up. Turns out she's still anemic so she had to have blood drawn. If you think shots are bad, try holding down your screaming toddler for fifteen minutes as someone sticks a needle in their arm. It was horrible, even worse than when they did it at her year check up. But the tech gave her lots of stickers and despite all the torture she still very sweetly, with a tear streaked face, thanked him. Breaks my heart I swear.
  Kelly also had an intake with a developmental specialist. It's really more for my own welfare. Kelly is a little advanced for her age, and I'm struggling to keep her challenged. So Wednesdays for us are now Kelly-focused.
  Finally Sadie had her newborn portraits, during which Kelly and I hopped in for some family portraits as well. I didn't realize how much of a mess my hair was, but I guess it's not the end of the world. It wasn't about me anyways. Some of the pictures were posted yesterday, and more will be through out the week so do enjoy!

3. What are the challenges we dealt with (or continue to deal with)?
  Mama has to go to physical therapy 3 times a week now for her back. Which means the girls go to the sitters three times a week! Good lord!

4. Any milestones reached this last week?
K: New words: No, Cookie, Maybe. She's also now stringing together sentences! Scaring the crap outta me I'm tellin' ya!
S: A lot more alert, making some non-screaming noises now.

5. How are you feeling about having 2 at this point?
  Good, tired but good.

6. Any Mommy Epiphanies?
  Nah I got nothin this week!

A Formal Introduction

Now that S is here, and we've gotten into some what of a swing of things, I'd like to finally and officially introduce you all to our complete little family. All anonymity aside.

Meet Sam aka Mama
  I'm Sam, but mostly I go by Mama. I'm legally disabled. I'm young. I'm a single stay-at-home-mom. I'm a gemini. I used to have a substance problem, but I've worked past that. I love food. I hate to cook. I went to an art school, but my passions lay elsewhere. I have a short attention span. I love to read. I love to explore. I love heat. I love family, comfort and safety. I love expending energy. I love new and dangerous. Mostly I love.

Meet Kelly aka K1 (or K)
  Kelly's my oldest daughter. She's... beyond words, but I'll try. She's loving, so loving. She loves like the love she's been shown, which is a lot. We have some beautiful people in our lives, and they've shown Kelly how to be pretty amazing too. Kelly loves to dance, and to talk, she'll chatter away for hours. She loves books too, at least twice a day we have to put all her books back on the shelf- in both her room and the play area. Kelly is helpful, she takes pride in it, and I do too. And she is so smart, probably because she's so curious. She hasn't discovered the word why yet, but that isn't stopping her from asking questions. She points and her little voice will lift at the end of "mama?" she'll turn her big blue eyes on me waiting for information. She's also coy, secretive and a little bit of a rebel- she hears the word no often, and there's hardly a day where I'm chasing after her yelling her name in a panic, she wants to go and she wants to know.

Meet Kassidy aka K2 (or S) 

  Kassidy, who we mostly call Sadie, is my youngest child. We haven't gotten to know each other very well yet honestly, but I have to say she has the sweetest smile. She reminds me a lot of her sister, and when Kelly isn't around I sometimes forget that Sadie isn't her! I'm sure the sleep deprivation helps with that confusion.
   She seems like she has a great capacity to be as sweet and curious (and devilish) as her sister, time will tell. Until then I'm reveling in her quickly fading newness.


And there you have our little family :) I've been pretty cautious for a while about our names, but really it's taxing to go back and edit every single blog post, not to mention confusing as hell. The anonymity was a preventative measure for something I now realize isn't even a possibility. So now we have a bit of breathing room and a bit of room to be honest in. Gotta say, I'm enjoying it. Nice to meet you! And nice to be met!!

19 Month!

Monthly Survey

Age 
19 Months!

Stats

• Weight: 23 pounds -as of 7/12
• Height: 31 inches -as of 7/12
• Clothes Size: 2T 
• Diaper Size: 5
• Hair Color: Dirty Blond 

Milestones

• Teeth: 6 on top, 5 on bottom, still cutting two canines, I can see the tips!!
• Vocab: My little parrot repeats, or attempts to repeat everything everyone says. New words include: Aunt Nett, Meow, Belly Button, Purple, Mouth, Boots. Favorite words include Baby and Sissy (pronounced Issy). She's also stringing them together now. Today she said "Oh 'aybe get baby?" and yesterday was "Issy's Juice, Mama!" when she brought me an empty bottle.
• Body Language: Glaring, which leads to giggling or tantrums. And more new dance moves! The girl loves to shake it :) She's pointing to body parts now too! She knows Hair, Ears, Eyes, Nose, Mouth, Hands, Feet, Fingers and Toes- and can say the words for them too. She can point out (usually) cheeks, chin, legs, knees and arms, but hasn't quite picked up the words for them.

Loves
Toys: She's formed an attachment to a specific baby doll, but when that one's unavailable any will do. She's also started insisting several stuffed animals be in bed with her every night too.
Books: Counting books this month!
Songs: ABCs again :)
Other: Inspecting Sissy, playing with the doggies, being picked up (she now does the arms up thing), splashing in the tub, brushing her teeth.

Hates 
Being away from sissy to long, not being able to play with sissy as she pleases, nap time, when we're done brushing her teeth.

Sleep
12 hours a night, we're down to one nap, and she doesn't want it lasting more than an hour, but to be fair we're still adjusting to S being around and so her sleep schedule has not been consistent.

Things We're Looking Forward to
 Getting back on a schedule!! Well maybe that's just me....

How I Like Motherhood
Likes: Watching her inspect S, the amount of joy she puts into eating, dancing and life in general, and the way she still acts shy with people.
Dislikes: Working out this napping business. The temper tantrums. That's from last month, but still applies.

2'fer Tuesday

2'fer Tuesday Survey


1. Ages? 
K: 19 Months
S: 3 Weeks

2. What's went on this last week?
  S is jaundiced no more! She had her first go of tummy time, and her first bath as well!! K made a new friend, who happens to be half her age and apparently worthy of kisses (little cougar!). And Mama got weighed- twice. Explain to me how I gained 2 lbs in 4 days?!
  S was also diagnosed with Reflux issues. Mama spent a fortune on some fancy bottles, and they seem to be helping, because S is almost back to birth weight and is eating and sleeping almost fuss free now!


3. What are the challenges we dealt with (or continue to deal with)?
  Well, I got some bad news this week. Maybe not bad, but... uncomfortable? Unhappy? Whatever, that's another blog post. Point is it's kicked my PPD into over drive, but thankfully I was put back on anti-depressants as of today. My back issue was also addressed today- now I'm supposed to attend physical therapy twice a week. How I'm supposed to do that with two under two, I really have no freaking idea, but I'll figure it out somehow I guess! If it isn't helping within the month I'll be going to a spine specialist and pain management doctor.
  On just the mommy-hood front, I'm happy to report further success, I'm making meals again, cleaning the house again, K even gets bed time stories pretty consistently. Granted not all of those things ever happen in the same day, but typically 2 out of 3, which is still progress!

4. Any milestones reached this last week?
K: New words are Mouth and Boots, she's also now pointing out a lot more body parts, I'll be sure to include that on her 19 month update tomorrow!!
S: First Bath! First 4 oz bottle too, big girl!

5. How are you feeling about having 2 at this point?
  Excited, I feel like I'm running a marathon and I've just set a good pace. Make sense?

6. Any Mommy Epiphanies?
   Breathe!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Just seconds before they were in an incredibly cute pose.
Soon as the shutter started to snap they started struggling.

.linking up.

the paper mama
project alicia
live and love out loud
dagmars momsense

 

2'fer Tuesday

2'fer Tuesday Survey


1. Ages? 
K: 18 Months, 4 Weeks
S: 2 Weeks

2. What's went on this last week?
  For starters we had several appointments including one that required me to be away from both the girls for the first time since... well, since I became pregnant! Scariest two hours of my life. I had a chiropractor appointment, then was able to wander on my own for an hour.  I thought about enjoying myself, then felt so guilty I ended up spending money I really couldn't afford to spend on buying the girls gifts. Don't worry, I already put them aside for Christmas.
  We also had our first double play date, which was actually an excuse to round up all the kids and dump them on my friend's teenage cousin and sister while my girlfriend colored and cut my hair.
  Then there was 4th of July, we went to a friend's bbq/birthday party and I was going to just be done there- but I didn't want to deprive K of an experience just because of S being so little. So we went and saw the fireworks anyways. I kept S in the sling, well insulated with my hands over her ears for the whole 30 minute show. She was startled at first, but didn't mind much after the first minute or two. K was enthralled for about the same amount of time, then wanted to run out on the field with her light up wand that her uncle had bought her. We managed to keep her seated and entertained through the rest of the show though- then booked it home!
  Finally this week was the first week that farmers market transitioned into "Olde Town Market," where regular vendors and bands all join in the fun to sell their goods as well. I took the girls for a quick stroll through, K had her first corn dog, S had a good nap, and I swallowed a hot dog whole while maneuvering a sit'n'stand one handed through a pack crowd. All in all a very successful trip!


3. What are the challenges we dealt with (or continue to deal with)?
  S began to refuse the boob Tuesday afternoon. We're officially a formula family, and I'm honestly somewhat relieved. Emotionally I couldn't afford the struggle of latching, or rather being rejected, and time-wise our little family just can't afford for me to pump, plus my supply started to drop despite the fenugreek. I'm a little disappointed, but I keep reminding myself formula is not child abuse, she will be just fine, and I did what was best for the whole family.
  Good news about the formula is it's helping S pack on weight and shake the jaundice a bit quicker. She had blood work done last that was a bit concerning, but when we went in Thursday her color was fantastic and she had gained a bit (although not a good amount, it was still in the comfortable range). As long as this keeps up she may be able to avoid admission to the hospital for free tanning :)
  Overall I'm doing a lot better too. I'm getting a little more sleep, and getting a little more done through out the day. I feel like even though the plane may still be spiraling out of control,  I'm able to keep everyone calm. I have made a couple of important appointments though, one concerning postpartum depression- something I've suffered through in the past, and one for addressing my back pain which has actually gotten worse since delivery. Hopefully both can quickly and easily be addressed. The PPD is a temporary thing in my experience, and only lasts about 4 months for me, but if it isn't addressed it can get pretty serious, something I'm not willing to risk. The back issue however, is concerning. At times it's hard for me to even lift S, and the chiropractor so far has served as only an extremely temporary relief.

4. Any milestones reached this last week?
K: New word is purple. And I've noticed she wears a lot of it! "Held" sissy for the first time this week too. Didn't get any good pictures of that though :(
S: Super alert at times, waking up more often, almost jaundice free. We also had our first scream free diaper change! And we're starting to fit comfortably (as opposed to swimming) in 0-3 month sizes.

5. How are you feeling about having 2 at this point?
  Blessed. I'm supposed to feel blessed right? Kidding, I really am grateful, my life feels almost complete. I feel like this was the next right thing, and I'm positively soaring with joy at how fantastic (although intimidating and overwhelming) life is. S is getting into a rough schedule, which means I'm getting more quality time with K as well.

6. Any Mommy Epiphanies?
   Caffeine good.

2'fer Tuesday

2'fer Tuesday Survey


1. Ages? 
K: 18 Months, 3 Weeks
S: 1 Week

2. What's went on this last week?
  Well we had a baby, brought her home, and began adjusting our little lives to make room for this new little person!


3. What are the challenges we dealt with (or continue to deal with)?
  K loves her "issy" and adores having her around. No struggle there. S is to tiny to know what a struggle is... her biggest issue is being jaundiced, and not waking up early enough to still maintain the patience to latch when she's hungry. So despite finally having a child who can latch, I am still spending time at the pump. I'm hoping in the next week her jaundice will clear up and she'll be able to go back to the source, because I can't physically or mentally afford to continue pumping. If at this time next week she isn't a boob girl again, we're goin' to formula with no shame about it.
  So mostly Mama seems to be the only one struggling. I was not prepared to jump in to raising two under two so quickly. Some how I had envisioned a bit more of an easing in process. But thus far everyone has managed to stay mostly clean, and mostly fed, and mostly well rested. I'm even starting to be able to get some chores done again. Though I'm sure once I get my feet under me some thing will change or someone will go through a growth spurt and things will change, requiring us (well me) to adjust again!


4. Any milestones reached this last week?
K: New words are Belly Button and Meow, and a few names too. She's also now saying words in a more conversational way, rather than as a question or echo.
S: Latched! And starting to spend more time alert.

5. How are you feeling about having 2 at this point?
  I haven't really had time to assess my feelings.
  I love S, but I already miss all the quality time K and I used to have. Tonight we managed to have bath time and actually read a bed time story while S was snoozing, so I know thing are just going to get better as we all adapt, and I'll be able to get more of that quality time back.

6. Any Mommy Epiphanies?
   Time changes everything! And if I use it wisely, than I really can be super mom.

Miss K's Birth Story

Before I go over K2's birth story, it is important that I record K1's, and so here it is. 18 months after the fact has my memory bleary, but try to bare with me.

First some background: K was not my first birth. For a number of personal reason I will not go into any information about the older child, just suffice it to say he is well, and making another family very happy. His pregnancy was not an easy one, and resulted in a very premature birth. With that background, and some early bleeding with K, I was put on bed rest at 8 weeks and stayed on bed rest for the entire pregnancy. It was the most difficult and lonely 30 weeks of my life.

Toward the end of my pregnancy my blood pressure had been rising slowly but surely. And for a few weeks it had to be taken multiple times before we could get an acceptable read. But, we always ended up with a good number. At my 38 week appointment however, that wasn't happening. I don't remember the specifics but I do remember my doctor was concerned if I was allowed to continue on to 40 weeks I would have a stroke. So he scheduled my induction.

The morning of December 17th, I woke up, showered, and tried to eat a breakfast bar before packing up in the car and heading south. Both my doctor and I agreed that it was more comforting for me to bypass my local hospital and go to a bigger, more specialized birthing hospital an hour south. At 9 am I was moved into a room, and set up on the monitors and a nurse applied the Prostaglandin Gel. A few hours afterward I was started on a Pitocin drip.

Ask just about any rational person and they will quickly tell you, pitocin induced labor is no walk in the park. My plans of sticking to an unmediated birth flew right out the window, as I learned that Pitocin is not something I would wish on my very worst enemies.

I dilated some, I think no further than a 6, and then just stopped. I was in so much pain, but still stubbornly insisting that I needed no epidural, and only the bare minimum of the pain killer I had so far accepted. Eventually a nurse came in and called it how she saw it. Basically my body was so tense from holding in the pain that I was actually to tense to dilate. If I continued doing what I was doing I would be to worn out for the actual pushing, and would end up with a C-Section. She gave me her best suggestion: Epidural, or volunteer for one now so it doesn't turn into a stressful emergency setting. I thought about it for about a half hour I believe, but around 4 AM I got the epidural.

And I began to dilate soon after that. The nurse was right though, I had worn myself out pretty badly. I had just enough energy when it came time to push, which was around 10 AM. Unfortunately at this point K had decided she was going to stay put. Between every contraction she would scoot back in, and during every contraction I would push her back to the point of almost crowning. At about 2 PM I was delirious, I asked for a break- and fully dilated, in active labor, I fell asleep. After an hour I woke up, and felt charged enough to give it one last shot- because if she wasn't out soon I would be having that emergency C-Section.

I actually was getting her to the crowning point, but she was still playing that game. The doctor explained my options to me. I had torn, so he was going to cut me a little more, and I had the option of forceps or vacuum to pull her out since my body was not able to push her out on its own. We discussed the risks and I chose the vacuum. K was out at 3:32 PM December 18th, 2010. 6lbs 11ozs, 21 1/2 inches and very unhappy with her current state of affairs. But the second she was laid on my chest she looked up at me with those sweet blue eyes, and calmed herself as I said hello.

Then we both promptly fell asleep. For just a minute! Then the nurses took her to be cleaned up and I "birthed" the placenta and then watched my lady parts get repaired in the reflection of my doctor's glasses. Delightful.

The next few hours were really hazy. I finally slept, and so did K. Breast feeding, as I've said previously was a struggle, and so was getting any rest after that first post birth coma- K was kicked out of the nursery twice the first night for disrupting the other babies, but would quiet down the second she was with me. That's where our bed sharing began, in that hospital bed. Before we left the hospital two days later she was supplementing with formula and I had to receive a blood transfusion. Apparently the tear/cut situation was a lot worse than I was told at the time, and I had lost a lot of blood. The transfusion made me swell and I was shocked to find at discharge that my flip flops didn't fit!  And K's newborn sleeper was way to big. But all was perfect none the less, and has more or less remained so ever since.

Products I Loved with K

Preparing for S has me wandering down some isles I haven't seen in a few months at the local "Marts" (ehm: Walmart and Target). I've again found myself standing confused over bottles and binkies, bath gear and car seats, bibs and spoons and baby food storage... oh my!

Luckily this time I have some experience under my belt, so debating which breast pads or sterilizing products isn't quite as difficult. Here I've compiled a list of my top 5 favorite things from the first two weeks K was home.  

1) NUK Ultra Thin Breast Pads
   I went through several different trial packs of several different brands and NUK was the ones I preferred. Now granted I leaked through every single brand, because of erratic pumping schedules, hormone fluxes, and just a really great supply, so my stand point isn't on keeping shirts dry- because I simply couldn't.
   My affection for the NUK brand was based on 2 things- sensitivity and price. With the pumping I was so tender, and these were the only pads not to turn into sopping wet messes or feel like sandpaper on my nipples, and the frequency with which I was going through them made me appreciate the price! Right now on Amazon you can get 120 for under 10 bucks, before S&H and they're eligible for Free Super Saver Shipping.

2) Munchkin Steam Guard Sterilizer Bags
   I loved these! I stopped using them when K was around 8 months, mainly because we switched to a sippy cup. But recently we've been having trouble getting her straw cups as clean as I'd like them to be (pregnancy induced OCD), so I faithfully returned to this product.
   My favorite thing about them is the name area. When I first started using them I was living with a friend, and K was not the only infant in the house. And the other infant had a very sensitive stomach and was on special formula. We were able to keep everyone's tummy's and new mom neurotics at peace with these. This time around we're keeping one for each girl at grandpa's house, as well as several at home. They're great for most pumping parts, bottles, sippy and straw cups as well as sanitizing toys too. Best part? 12 of them are less than 7 dollars before S&H on Amazon and eligible for Free Super Saver Shipping. 

3) Nature's Way Fenugreek
   You know for a post about life saving products in K's first week of life, so far I've only listed "behind the scenes" type products- things K never came in direct contact with, and here's yet another: Nature's Way Fenugreek. Now before I go any further let me remind you I am but a simple Stay-At-Home-Mom and while I often play a nurse to K, I am in no way a medical professional. I've been around a few, and actually wore a stethoscope once but that's as far as it goes. If you are having lactation issues I strongly suggest you talk to a Lactation Consultant, or your doctor. Especially before investing and ingesting any supplements.
   That being said, Fenugreek was a life saver for me. As I've touched on in this post, I chose to pump with K, as she couldn't properly latch. Anyone with any knowledge of pumping rather than full on breastfeeding may tell you that your supply suffers dramatically when you pump because the suction isn't quite the same, that's also the reason why breast pumps boast their ability to realistically simulate the suckling of an infant, personally I believe there's a more physical aspect that's required for a good supply which is why I chose to bed share, but that's a different post for a different day. The fact was my supply did suffer, and I tried everything from oatmeal at every meal to hand expressing (hello carpel tunnel!) but nothing had such significant results like Fenugreek did. I was a milking machine! And a fringe benefit? All of my bodily fluids smelled like maple syrup, which was great because as a new mom my showering schedule hadn't quite evened out and maple syrup is more socially acceptable than B.O.
   Right now you can get 180 capsules for less than 6 dollars on Amazon. There's another brand I'm personally not familiar with that has 100 capsules for less than 10 dollars, and is eligible for the Free Super Saver Shipping as well. Personally, I'm fond of the link I gave you above because of the Customer Image that's posted. It makes me giggle in delight at all that liquid gold!

4) Medela Pump & Save Breastmilk Bags
   The first few days after my milk came in are an unclear mash up of hot showers, pumping, and crying (it hurt!). I had been informed that pumping meant more work with less results, and I had also been told that when your milk comes in what you demand from your body those first few days would basically become the average. So when my milk came in I demanded a lot, with every intention of storing as much as possible- and I was very successful I must say, eventually my supply did drop and that's when the Fenugreek really showed it's worth.
   All the breastfeeding accessories I had come in to contact with at the hospital and through several lactation consultants was by the brand Medela, even the hospital grade pump I ended up borrowing from WIC was. Medela was, and still is in my opinion, the "It" pumping brand. I'm still soothed by the whir of their pumps and soft yellow swoops of their branding. Anyways, when it came time to store, I went with what I was told was the best, and properly formatted for my pump: The Medela Pump & Save Breastmilk Bags. I will admit right here and now that I never even bothered with another brand, and so my review is completely biased. But they were what I needed when I needed it which is what any mom- new, or not- really wants. They hooked on easily, never leaked, would stand up or lay flat if I needed them too, and had nifty little measurements and room to write the dates, times, and even a name if so needed, on each bag. I don't know if it's the sense of pride that I correlate to them, or the glossy shine, but seeing a stack of these bad boys still makes my heart smile.
   Right now you can get 50 of them for about 16 bucks on Amazon, and they're eligible for the Free Super Saver Shipping. If you're iffy about the brand, not needing many, or forgot to pick some up before your big D-Day be sure to ask your Lactation Consultant about them! Often they can give you a few for free, just to tide you over!

5) Clif Bar Energy Bars
   Last but not least, although certainly farthest from having anything to do with K, is Clif Bars. I think I lived off these for the first month of Kelly's life, eating a real meal every 2 or 3 days. All I really did that first month was pump, wash pump parts, stockpile milk, change diapers, feed K, wash bottles, occasionally sleep, and spend an irrational amount of time staring into her cute little face... and then I worked in taking pictures as well. Eventually though I realized I was missing out on eating. And since I obviously had no time or energy or desire to wash more dishes, or take the time to tip toe away from my vulnerable newborn I started a very unhealthy crash diet of cereal bars- those things are not substantial!
   Eventually I ended up trying Clif Bars, and to this day I still have one packed in my diaper bag, a whole box at the diaper bag packing station and about half a box in my hospital bag. To put it simply, they are delicious, compact, and energizing. What more could a mommy want? Chocolate? Oh yeah, there's chocolate too.
  Right now on Amazon you can get a large variety pack (all flavors are already Mama approved, in case your wondering) for just under 30 well worth it bucks, and of course this product is also eligible for the Free Super Saver Shipping.


If you can't tell I'm a big fan of not only Amazon, but their Free Super Saver Shipping option. More than anything, I hate finding a good price only to have the savings sacrificed by the shipping and handling.

Obviously there's a few things like bottles and binkies I have a preference to as well, but of course those are the things where the only preference that matters is the baby's right? We'll see how often Miss S and I are in agreement in the next couple months, I have a feeling it'll be rarely, if at all.


Please note: I have not been compensated in any way for this post by any of the companies listed above, nor by Amazon.com. These are my true feelings about some great products!

Wordless Wednesday

18 Months!

Monthly Survey

Age 
18 Months!

Stats

• Weight: 21 pounds as of 5/8*
• Height: 29 inches as of 5/8*
• Clothes Size: 2T 
• Diaper Size: 5
• Hair Color: Brownish Blond 

Milestones

• Teeth: 6 on top (2 of which are molars), 5 on bottom (1 of which is a molar), still cutting two canines and 1 more bottom molar as well!
• Vocab: I can't even begin to list all of her new words. But the biggest change is her insistence not only on communicating, but that she is communicating. She talks all the time and a lot of it sounds like real conversation! And she responds appropriately as if she is having a real conversation, in fact, she probably is, I'm just a little late to the party as far as understanding exactly what she's trying to say goes. Oh and now she sings! Be still my heart!
• Body Language: Wags finger now, gasps and covers mouth in shock or dismay, lots of new dance moves and running in place is a big deal too! She's also hitting again, but we're working on that. 

Loves
Toys: Books, puzzles, her new ball pit.
Books: She's pretty fond of a new foam dinosaur book, and loves to say "Rawrrr!" Also a big fan of Thomas the Train. Tomboy much?
Songs: The Dora Song, "Mommy made Yummy" song she made up, a few other random tunes she likes to sing, and any kind of classic rock. 
Other: Running on her tip toes. Standing on the furniture. Poking/patting sissy. Petting dogs.

Hates 
Being told no, or asked to say please. Thank you is the new please, didn't you know?

Sleep
12 hours a night, 2-4 hours during the day. She's now pretty sure one nap a day is the way to go.

Things We're Looking Forward to
Becoming a big sissy!

How I Like Motherhood
Likes: Listening to her sing songs, dance, give my belly kisses, "Rawr" or "Baa" about the house, clean up on her own, and give kisses. Oh and when she reaches up to hold my hand, or runs back for me when she notices I'm not keeping up.
Dislikes: Working out this napping business. The temper tantrums.

*We haven't seen the doc this month, but will probably be heading in later this week, as it appears K is sick, again.

Travel Toy Bags

Excuse my "I have children, why do I need a new carpet?" carpet.

Any mother knows the value of having something interesting in her purse. And I'm pretty sure I've spoken to how important I feel it will be to keep K busy when S is here.

In the past I've just used my phone as the go to emergency distraction, but it's lead to countless hours of searching through and under random furniture, more replacements than I could count on one hand, and several hundred "I'm sorry. New phone, again. Who is this?" text messages.

At least it was a clean toilet....

Sunglasses are a similar story. Keys are just to valuable to risk, and often hard to retrieve as you can see to the right (this is also just one example of why I carry Lysol Wipes in my diaper bag). So obviously the best choice would be something child friendly, and still somehow entertaining, like oh, say, TOYS! Go figure, right?

The thing is, especially with little ones, they really don't stay interested in things for long. So you either need to have something really wicked cool like a phone for them to play with, or you need to have a good rotating inventory.

Luckily, I lie to K. She doesn't know that toys come in kids meals, and the majority of her friends either believe the same, or easily accept that every time we go out to eat the restaurant is unfortunately out "girl toys" or "baby toys," which ever applies. So now I have a stock pile of fast food toys, and I've used them in her Christmas stocking, her Easter basket, and even as emergency birthday gifts. No actually, I don't have any shame.

Baggies, toys and books- Oh My!

Point being I have quite a few random little toys. And recently a dear friend gave us over 20 small board books, among other toys that her children have outgrown. K loves books. I've personally witnessed one single cardboard page keep her entertained for up to 20 minutes. The things are full of black magic, obviously. Which of course is why we have so many.


Between the kids meal toys and recent literary donation, I was able to sit down with a box of diaper bag worthy toys the other night, as well as four Ziploc bags. I sorted the books and the toys into groups. Books were shapes, colors, and two piles of random books. Toys were plastic figurines, large entertainment, little entertainments. I also sorted out all the "baby toys" into a separate box. Then I separated the "big girl" stuff into piles of four and started stuffing bags. I ended up with four bags, with four books and three toys in each.

Yes, there is a dead phone in there too. I have a collection of those as well.

The reason I made four bags is for rotation purposes, three will sit on my Diaper Bag Packing Station (which I will be showing you very soon) and one will be in the diaper bag, Every week or so when I find myself having to reload the bag on more than just diapers, I'll switch out the toy bag. The toy bags are also in the same basket as all a few baby toys, so I can grab one or two of those to switch out at the same time for S.

This is the first week I've started implementing this plan, and hopefully it'll work out well. I plan on updating in a month on what is working about the bags and what isn't. Hopefully this will make it easier to stay organized, easier to get up and go, and easier to keep K's travel toys clean as well as obviously keep K as entertained and delighted as she deserves to be!

All finished, ready for the diaper bag packing station!

Quick and Current...

Currently I'm cleaning out my diaper bag. A friend gave K's a ton of board books that her children had outgrown, and a lot of them are tiny. It inspired me to work on the toy bags I had been planning, which I'll try to post about tomorrow. Anyways, that meant I had to gather all of K's "on the go" toys up, perfect time to clean out my diaper bag. And by that I of course mean the only way I could find them all was by cleaning out my diaper bag.

In My Diaper Bag (before cleaning):

• 4 lip balms (3 Burts Bees, 1 that doesn't work)
• 4 random key tags
• 4 binkies
• 4 AA batteries
• 2 balls (yellow one that rattles, blue one that doesn't)
• 2 packets of important paperwork
• 2 pens
• 2 containers of hand sanitizer
• 2 handfuls of trash
• 1 random rattle 
• 1 car 
• 1 Dora Figurine
• 1 Cat Figurine
• 1 toy screwdriver
• 1 pair of K's sunglasses
• My old sunglasses
• My new sunglasses case, sans sunglasses
• 1 Brita water bottle
• 1 wipe case full of Lysol wipes
• 1 empty wipe case 
• 1 diaper
• Wallet
• Spare change, bobby pins and a spare key. 
• My camera
• Mini first aid kit (with alcohol wipes, band-aids, thermometer, pen and paper, back up Tylenol, aspirin, ibuprofen, and antibiotic gel stuffs)
• Make up bag (with main bottle of Tylenol, and other medication)
• Coupon book
• Phone list
• Disposable changing pad
• Tissue pack
• Stroller straps and Shoulder strap for purse. 
• Altoids
• 1/2 a Twix

In My Diaper Bag (after cleaning):

• 3 lip balms
• 4 binkies
• 4 AA batteries
• 1 packet of important paperwork
• 2 pens
• 2 containers of hand sanitizer
• 1 pair of K's sunglasses
• My new sunglasses case, sans sunglasses
• 1 Brita water bottle
• 1 wipe case full of Lysol wipes
• 1 wipe case of regular wipes
• 1 diaper
• Wallet
• Spare change, bobby pins and a spare key. 
• My camera
• Mini first aid kit (with alcohol wipes, band-aids, thermometer, pen and paper, back up Tylenol, aspirin, ibuprofen, and antibiotic gel stuffs)
• Make up bag (with main bottle of Tylenol, and other medication)
• Coupon book
• Phone list
• Disposable changing pad
• Tissue pack
• Stroller straps and Shoulder strap for purse. 
• Toy bag (Ziploc containing 4 books, 3 random toys)
• 2 mini cliff bars

Significant downsizing right? I know what you're thinking, "That's downsized?" Yes, if you have a vagina there is a good chance you'll understand why I still need to carry 3 separate lip balms (color, texture, and back up). 4 binkies are a little excessive I agree, but I rather be safe than sorry. And finally 2 containers of hand sanitizer is simple: I keep the good stuff for myself, and make the randoms use the stinky rubbing alcohol kind.

Of course this isn't including the snacks or drinks for K I usually carry. Or the 3 extra diapers I always stuff in before we run out the door.

And very soon there will be a little bag of back up clothes, another 6 or so diapers, possibly a bottle and formula container, and a infant toy or two. So yeah, this is downsized!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

The Baby Shower and an Epiphany

One of the many adorable outfits S received.

Saturday was my baby shower. I know it's a bit controversial to some to have a shower for a second child, or when children are so closely spaced, or when they're the same sex, but I'm blessed with some loving friends and family who absolutely insisted on throwing a celebration for K2.

"Every baby deserves a celebration" I was told, and who am I to deny S of her first party? I also have no shame in saying that there are a few things I still needed, but haven't been in the financial position to be able to afford just yet.  And by "needed" I mean really wanted but probably could have lived with out- like extra crib sheets, bumpers for the crib, a bigger diaper bag, etc.

Well I got all that and so much more. So much more. I mean S already has 60+ articles of clothing in just the NB sizes, not including what I still had from K or socks, mittens, shoes or bibs either. She received a bathtub that has a whirlpool feature! And shower spout! On top of all that two of the women got together the money to purchase my car seat. It was ordered today, and should arrive by Thursday at the latest, when I'll be hitting 36 weeks.

The Diaper Bag

36 weeks is also when my local hospital will deliver S if she does decide to come early, which as you might have read in a few previous posts, is kind of a concern of mine. I've basically been told since 20 weeks that I wouldn't make it to 37 weeks. Therefore, being the obsessive control freak I secretly am, I wanted to get this whole rodeo over and done with as soon as possible.

But alas! I also unfortunately, love a few obsessive control freaks, who happen to be my best friends, and also happened to be the ones insisting on throwing the shower. Actually, that's not the unfortunate part, the unfortunate part is that both of them had booked weekends through out almost my entire pregnancy. The only date they both could agree on was 13 days before that unreachable, unattainable 37 weeks.

In retrospect, I can see the way they may have benefited from leaving it until the last minute. Instead of spending the whole time breathing down their necks about insignificant details, I spent most my time obsessing over what should or shouldn't be purchased before the shower with what little money was available, and if I'd be able to afford the things I do or did need should I not receive them.

Of course, I received absolutely everything I needed, and in excess in most cases. I also received every thing I wanted too. Even more, I received things I didn't know I wanted or needed, like my best friend's oldest child's baby blanket.

Our girls, despite being 12 years apart in age are as close as sisters, K adores D, and D adores her right back. In fact, D adores K so much that she called me the other day asking if she could give up a few hours of her summertime freedom every day to come and help out with K, so I can have some time to take care of the house and take care of S with out stressing about a hardly supervised or ignored toddler.

Helping K open her baby shower gift: Dora Microphone & Necklace

And that's exactly the kind of thing that made this baby shower a huge success, and one of the happiest memories of recent times for me. Everyone made it their goal to include K on this, they went out of their way. There was never a point that afternoon where I had to worry if she felt ignored, or left out, or confused and overwhelmed. Every time she wandered by the chair I had been sentenced to she had her new Dora Microphone in hand, and if she wasn't directly in sight all I had to do was scan the laps of the women around me. I'm so worried about how K will handle not being my main focus, I worry that she'll feel less important to all the other people who currently adore her. I am terrified that she might even once for half a second feel forgotten. I'm not worried if I can love another child, or love them both equally, I have no doubt I can. My fear is that I just won't be able to give enough of myself to both of them, and that they won't just resent me for it, but will resent each other as well.

This fear consumes me sometimes, but less recently as I've had a spiritual awakening of sorts. All my life I've had fears, and I've had worries, and I've obsessed over them and tried to control them and run my self ragged trying to make what I think should be come in to existence. 99% of the time those fears never come to life, things I never considered happen, amazing things happen. It's only when I spend all my time worrying and trying to control or fix things that it all goes horribly awry. And then not only am I left with a mess of failed expectations, but I also find myself regretting all the time and energy I spent predetermining the situation. Time and energy I could have spent living in the moment, with the blessings I had currently at that time.

So today I'm putting my fears aside, and rededicating myself to the last few days alone with K. To appreciate every moment as a single solitary gem, not to anxiously anticipate what they'll build up to. The very best way to make these the best days is to simply participate in them, and that is what I intend to do!

Oh that? Just a Little Pre-Term Labor...

While everyone was kicking back brewskis and standing around the grill this weekend, I was having a fun round of very serious looking preterm labor. I hope you noted the sarcasm there, or at least have enough experience with labor to know how very not fun it is. But I digress....

I had gone in to the hospital for some horrible pains (somewhat reminiscent of labor, hence the concern) in my thighs, groin, lower abdomen and back. At that point I was contracting every 3-4 minutes. For a few hours my local hospital tried to stop the labor through various medications. Not only were they unsuccessful, but managed to risk my life after insisting I take another dose of a muscle relaxant as my blood pressure bottomed out. I'd really like to take a moment to vent on my local hospital's level of care, but that's only slightly less interesting then this!

Anyways, they finally decided to transfer me to a bigger hospital about an hour away. That hospital decided it would be in every one's best interest if I wasn't dead (I agreed), and so they let the labor progress, at that point I was contracting every 2-3 minutes, and beginning to dilate. I was given a low dose of pain killers, and decided to sleep for a bit, because from what I remember, birthing babies is no easy thing. I woke a few hours later to find that the contractions had stopped. Ceased. Disappeared. No more. They ran some tests, poked around under the hood, and then just sent me on my merry way.

Basically S decided that she wasn't as ready as she thought, and plans on giving it at least a few more days. Until then, I'm on as much bed rest as is morally allowed for a mother of one little trouble seeking toddler.

Spur-of-the-Moment Photo Shoot

"Trouble?" You say, "Such a cute little angelic face can cause trouble?" Yes. Trouble. She took it upon herself, in my absence to fight the coffee table at Grandpa's house (though to be fair it's been shooting her dirty looks, a real oak instigator, that one). I  think she was looking for a way to get to the hospital, to see her Mama. When it was time for me to go home, she arrived with her grandpa and jumped into my arms, then rested her little head on my shoulder and sighed. I just barely caught sight of the bloody band aid on her forehead, but when I took a better look I was practically off and running (okay high speed waddling) toward the ER again. Luckily, some very sweet L&D nurses talked me down, and helped me clean her up, just in time for me to properly harass my father on why the poor child wasn't wearing pants (she had an accident). I swear, the world falls apart with out me.

On a serious note though, this weekend's event made me truly realize that my little girl won't be the little one much longer. And it kills me to know that. It kills me to know that soon I won't be her absolute everything, and soon we'll have to share each other with someone else.

But then I realize, soon we get to have something else to share with each other. Soon I'll be showing K how a newborn's nose can scrunch into the cutest little ridges, and sharing the joy of those first gazes, giggles and grins. And soon I'll be introducing S to her amazing big sister, the person I breathe for, the first face I have to see for the day to even matter.

Above all, soon all the joy and the bliss and the happiness that is my life will double. Along with it will come twice as much stress, and fear of course, but it's a small shadow in the high noon that is my life right now.

P.S.  Now I have to repack my hospital bag! Really debating packing two... one for false labor, one for real labor, but seeing as my crystal ball is in the shop, I probably won't know the difference and should just keep it down to one. My OCD is disappointed.

Little Less List-less

About a week and a half ago, I checked in with a neurotic list of lists that I still had yet to make (and then of course accomplish) for S's imminent arrival. I've been working on the lists themselves, and accomplishing them but still feeling incredibly inefficient! So I'm returning to my original list of lists to do a sort of inventory on my accomplishments in the past ten days (ten? Already??):

• Hospital Bag Checklist- List is finished, bag is almost packed. All that's left to do is put everything in the car, and have what needs to be grabbed last minute in an orderly area.
• K's Overnight Bag Checklist- The list has been made, but the packing has yet to be accomplished. This weekend I plan on cleaning the bag, and packing up the appropriate items, then printing the clothing list and keeping it by her bedroom door so I can toss it together last minute if need be. Grandpa will also have a copy of the list along with a copy of the house keys so he can toss it together if push comes to shove. For simplicities sake I need to organize the drawer into outfits so no one has to do much thinking when the time comes. Just grab and go.
• Diaper Bag Checklist- Another one where the list has been made, but the bag has yet to be packed. But seeing as I won't have my dream bag in my hands until the second of June, I can totally blame this lack of advancement on that. 
• Things That Still Need to be Washed Checklist- Another one that I can't really accomplish until after the baby shower. Everything that can be washed though, has by now.
• Important Paperwork Checklist- Basically this was just Emergency Care Authorizations and copies of insurance information for all of K's possible sitters for the next couple of months.
• Bill Pay Checklist- Knowing my luck I'll go into labor on the second, and all my bills are due on the third. Just in case I can't pay them myself, I've written down all the explicit instructions, pins and pass codes to my bill pay information and handed them over to my father. Now as long as I don't go into labor on the 3rd, we should be alright. If I do, I think I'll pay my bills before going to the hospital....
• Important Purchases Before S Comes Checklist- The list is made (and ever changing) and slowly being accomplished.
• Important Things to do Before S Comes Checklist- Another list that is ever changing, but made and being accomplished, the majority of what's left will be accomplished this weekend in fact! 

When I review this, I realize that really I've done basically all I can do for now. Which explains why I'm so obsessed with what I'm currently unable to do, like purchasing a car seat.

Yes, despite all my planning I do not have a car seat. I planned on reusing K's infant carrier, but being the worrier that I am, I went ahead and checked for recalls and yes, it had in fact been recalled. Of course I didn't check until half way through this month when immediately replacing it was financially impossible. I decided I'd use the time between checks to thoroughly research which car seat would be best for us, and I really think I found the perfect one. But I can't justify spending that much on a car seat!

So instead I began plotting how to replace the previous carrier in an affordable fashion and I came down to 2 courses of action. I could wait until Babies R Us had their semi annual trade in event, where I could use the old carrier to get 25% off the new one (and simultaneously get rid of the old one!), I could wait until after my baby shower, and then return all of the excess for store credit to use on the carrier.

Unfortunately both plans contain my Kryptonite: Waiting. When you look over my list of lists (and the lists with in it) you may notice that half of them involve some amount of waiting still. A lot of things are dependent on my baby shower being over, and as my baby shower is only a few days before my newest due date*, that leaves me with very little time to get quite a bit done. So, yeah I'm stressed!

I had been combing Craigslist in the even that I would come across a carrier that I liked better, for a better price. Then it just became about a better price, because the peace of mind of having one now is well worth not getting exactly what I want. And I'm happy to say I found one! I found a great one, for a great price. I've been emailing the owner and at this point the only concern is if it's expired. The brand's website says their carriers expire five years after the date manufactured. The owner was surprised that they do expire, and doesn't remember what year she bought it, both of which aren't particularly positive signs. She said she'll check and let me know.  So again I wait.

Seems like lately I can't catch a break!