Mama Musings: Labor, Hormones and General Insanity

I have a theory, that every woman, with in 2-3 weeks of giving birth, goes through this stage of certified insanity. And I don't mean scrubbing the baseboards with a toothbrush crazy, or driving everyone to the clinic to get their whooping cough vaccines, or making a tutu crib skirt (ehm). I don't mean crying because you have hairy legs, I mean crying because your poor legs have to put up with being hairy, because they really don't deserve such mistreatment. I mean off the wall, emotional train-wreck crazy.

I don't have to much experience with this theory myself. With K I was induced, so while I may have been in that crazy zone, there is no evidence that it was labor related. But from what I've witnessed of loved one's pregnancies, there's comes a point where you start to question if you should really be trusting this woman with a newborn then BAM the crazy is gone, and a newborn is here to replace it. Or in some cases the crazy is on pause, but this isn't a postpartum post.

My musings are eventually coming to a point and the point is this: Could the insanity be an indicator of nearing labor? Or am I just another desperate woman looking for signs in stars and tea leaves? Have you noticed anything similar?

Isn't this pretty? No idea what it is.

Anyone who knows me may not say I am the most rational person, they probably wouldn't say I'm the most down to earth, or focused, or calm, some would be hard pressed to declare me sane at all, and I don't blame them! But one thing almost everyone would agree on is that I am by all appearances not a high strung, sensitive or even emotional person. I do have feelings, I'm sure you've noticed that, and I'm capable of reveling in them and enjoying them just like everyone else. The problem, if you want to call it that, is I rarely show them. That is until recently....

Recently I've been crying over things like forgetting to put away the bread, or the way I think people are looking at me. I can make jokes about how huge everyone has recently begun insisting I am, then have a good thirty minute cry when changing my sheets is discovered to be impossible on my own. And it's not the simple fact that I'm crying, it's the emotional charge up that leads to the crying. I quickly go to a point of anger or frustration over the littlest things and then something inside snaps- and instead of finding a rational solution, or just simply walking away even, I resort to a huffing, puffing, snotty large lump.

Several people assure me I'm "right where I'm supposed to be." That the way I feel is based on the level of pain I've been in, the amount of sleep I've gotten, the level of stress I'm under, etc. I agree those are perfectly rational reasons, except 2+2+2 does not equal 100. And I am operating at 100% crazy now.

My theory boils down to this: As we all know, all sorts of hormones are constantly pulsing through our bodies, especially during pregnancy. When a woman nears labor extra hormones are released to prepare her pelvis, ligaments, uterus, cervix and so on. Some hormones also have greater impact on our feelings, so could it be that the hormones my cervix is stewing in currently are also the ones that make any rational human being run for the hills?

And if so, why would humans evolve this way? It just doesn't seem to fit with the concept of self preservation. Please, someone shed some light on this for me, because I really do not trust my own thinking currently, and honestly... like any other irrational woman, I don't want hormones to be "the cause," deep down I want you to tell me my feelings are real, and they are justified and it will be okay princess- even though I know that's not true.